Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton 21/02/2013 : Forgiveness

We hope for the future - forgiveness is the way

When we are hurt: Until we can see a way to move forward we like to have some sort of control and in the meantime we make angry plans for retribution.

Pity party/blame game. When you allow bitterness, pain and hurt in your life when others do you wrong, this gives other's responsibility for my life. When you hold resentment and un-forgiveness you've given over the control of your mind, voluntarily. You're no longer in control.

Anything we cannot face holds the most power over us. Subconsciously it affects every decision we make. Everything in our lives from this point forward is filtered by this anger.

We wouldn't ordinarily invite the person who wronged us into our home. Even the thought of that horrifies us. Why aren't we horrified by the pain in our minds, often to the exclusion of everything else? 

Where did we get the notion that living like this is ok?  We cry "this is unfair". The pain/hurt/anger becomes a grudge. We hold onto it and re-hash it over and over again in our minds.

We fantasize that the wrong-doer is going to make it better somehow. But this fantasy is purely living in our head; they usually don't give us a second thought.

When we refuse to forgive, or hold onto a grudge, it only hurts us. Liken it to drinking poison.

How do we navigate through hurt & pain?
1) Roll with the punishes and bounce back up. This too shall pass.

2) Rub out the pain, rather than rubbing it in to the wound. When you rub it out it doesn't become a permanent stain. 

Bemoaning what we don't have, or would like to have, means we cannot enjoy to the full what we DO HAVE.

Healing our hidden wounds.
1) Don't nurse them. Poor me.
2) Don't curse them and become bitter. Not my fault
3) Don't rehearse them, as this delays healing.
4) Immerse them, with the help of others.
5) Reverse them; negatives into positives, with Gods's help.

Roosevelt: "Anger is one letter short of Danger."

Mother T is claimed to have written on her wall. "People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Forgive them anyway."

Build better friendships. Beneficial to all concerned. 

Note to Self: I have to live with myself and so I want to be fit for myself to know. Always look myself in the eye. Never hide from myself. I see what others never see. I can never fool myself, so whatever happens I want to be self-respecting and conscience free.

Anyone can imprison your body by control, but only you can hand over authority by refusing to forgive.

Only power in hurtful things is the power you give to it. Your life will prosper when your mindsets change. In order to obtain better fruit in the orchard, you need better roots on the trees. Root=Relationship with God and immersing in His word.

In order to obtain peace in your life you need to actively pursue that peace. Exercise your brain.  If you hold a grudge you're going to be miserable.

Whatever you don't conquer in your mind is going to conquer you. Refusing to consider forgiveness is refusing to take back ownership of your mind. 

Change your behaviour in the middle of a situation. Actively change your reactions and responses. Ps 138:3 in the day when I cried you answered me. Strengthened me in my soul.

While in prison Lindy was accosted by a guard who publicly humiliated her.  Lindy wanted to report this officer as she had done no wrong, but while sitting on her bed inside her cell she "thumbed her bible" (randomly stuck it in the side).  The thumb rested on the scripture Psalm 4:4 "Be angry [or stand in awe] and sin not; commune with your own hearts upon your beds and be silent (sorry for the things you say in your hearts). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! She felt God say to her to let go of the anger and allow God to be her vindicator.

The following day she was called into the wardens office and asked to write down what had been said, and then to follow-up with testimony from the other inmates who had been treated poorly.  Unbeknown to Lindy, that officer had been warned previously for bad behaviour and the warden required evidence to take further action.  If Lindy had approached the officials her complaint may not have been heard, but she rested in the knowledge that God would take action, and He did.

Ps 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me.

Vindication from the Lord. God is with me. Jesus said to forgive 70 times 7.  Pretty much, as many times as necessary.

Forgiveness is for the benefit of yourself, for us. To cancel a bad debt. Allows God to move in our lives. 

Forgiveness: Determined by our will and mindset. It costs, but not as much as not forgiving.

Forgiveness gives you back the power. Unforgiveness, eats you from the inside out. Unforgiveness will destroy me.

Forgiveness, though, doesn't nullify what has been done. It sets you free.

How can I be free from pain? Happiness does not come from what is around us, but what is within us. Not from what we have, but what we are.

John Cusack: [paraphrased quote] "Decide how you feel when you wake up in the morning. It is not what happens that determines how far you go, it's what you do with it."

If you are going thru hell, don't set up camp there.

Hardening of the hearts/attitudes is the most deadly. To respond is positive. To react is negative. Do what is right even if no one else is.  We are responsible for ourselves and our actions.

If you aren't a winner without a medal, you won't be a winner with one. (Congratulate others when they win).

Don't pin your hopes on tomorrow. We only have today. Can't live on intangibles. Each day has enough troubles of its own. It's never as bad as you think.

Only a voluntary apology works. We pray "forgive us as we forgive others." God is more generous than we are. God has never gone on strike. He has never considered punishing us with retribution, even though He has been treated unfairly.

God understands what forgiveness does for us. Learn to pray. 

Forgiving and moving on does not mean we are being disloyal to the past. Learn to move on. When we move on we hand back all the pain to the person that caused it and it can no longer hurt us.

Moving on is not always immediate. Keep reminding yourself to let go. 

A bible that is falling apart, usually belongs to someone who isn't.

Peters says cast all your anxiety on Him, cos he cares for you. Let God deal with hurt, pain and punishment. Happiness is not a reward it's a consequence. We need to forgive. Forgive the past.

Begin again, this minute, this day. Don't waste it. Don't ask God to be with us, He is always with us. Ask that we be with God. He is so close. Recognize His presence.

Gods love is the fabric that never fades in the washing of adversity.

Winston Churchill:  "We are all worms. But I believe I'm a glow worm."